Recap of Week 1

Week 1 saw a few close matchups and a few blowouts. Here's what happened:

Game of the Week: Will Scarlet O'Hara (0-1) vs. Forever Annyong (1-0)

This was a close one, as WSO got a great performance out of Dallas QB Tony Romo (47 pts.), and they had a 21 point lead going into the Sunday night game. But Forever Annyong got a clutch performance from Green Bay WR Greg Jennings, who came up with 28 points to pull out a 120-113 win for FA.

In other action:

-The Rockford Peaches, despite having Terrell Owens, managed to beat Team Henoch 108-99. Team Henoch's running backs (Chris Johnson, Darren McFadden) were terrible. In other news, rumors are flying that Team Henoch will face serious penalties for refusing to come up with a team name.

- Round 1 of the longstanding rivalry between Frank the Tank (this season sponsered by Home Depot for some reason) and Unnecessary Flair was no contest, as the oldest Martin brother's team beat down UF 148-80. Dwayne Bowe was HDFT's 5th highest scorer, and he outscored all 3 of UF's receivers by himself. Adrian Peterson had more than half of Unnecessary Flair's total by himself, putting up 47 points.

- Speaking of beatdowns, Trexler's Gunners dropped a train on Dr. Zoidberg, 192-103. Drew Brees had 58 points (although playing Detroit should halve your fantasy points), and the Eagles defense had 54 points, as Jake Delhomme turned the ball over 5 times against the Eagles on the field and once each during the pre-game pep talk, during the halftime speech, and then fumbled his sandwich during the post-game spread. Zoidberg's balanced attack just wasn't enough.

-Reigning league champion Rahul's Balts-ville Godmorgons opened with a comfortable 108-60 win over Fart Knockin' on Your Door. Fart Knockin's first two picks in the draft, RBs Stephen Jackson and Steve Slaton, combined for a whopping 7 points. Losing WR Anthony Gonzalez early in the Colts game didn't help matters.

-Finally, in the battle of teams randomly named after decidedly average Dolphins wide receivers, Ted Ginn's Year prevailed over OJ McDuffie Parmigiana. Each team's ground game was awful- out of the 6 RBs on the field, Detroit's (yes, a Lions player did something good) Kevin Smith had the most points- he was the only one with more than 6. Santonio Homles's 24 points was the key to TGY's victory.

Week 1 Lines

Here are the Sunday morning lines for the games in week 1:

Dr. Zoidberg @ Trexler Gunners (-37)
Will Scarlet O'Hara @ Forever Annyong (-17)
Ted Ginn's Year (-45) @ OJ McDuffie Parmigiana
Unnecessary Flair @ Home Depot Frank the Tank (-14)
Balts-ville Godmorgons @ fart knockin at your door (-1)
Team Henoch (-14) @ Rockford Peaches

Currently on the scoreboard due to Thursday night's game:

Will Scarlet O'Hara 1, Forever Annyong 0
Ted Ginn's Year 29, OJ McDuffie Parmigiana 0
Balts-ville Godmorgons 0, fart knockin at your door 2
Team Henoch 23, Rockford Peaches 18

The baseball scores (1-0, 0-2) were due to the stellar performances of "Not-so-fast" Willie Parker and "I lost my extra weight and the endzone" LenDale White, respectively.

Let's play some football!

Draft

The 2009 ALOOOFF Draft:

Round 1

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Adrian Peterson, RB, Minn.
2. Team Kornafel- Michael Turner, RB, Atl.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Maurice Jones-Drew, RB, Jac.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Matt Forte, RB, Chi.
5. Forever Annyong- Brandon Jacobs, RB, NYG
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door-Steven Jackson, RB, Stl.
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana-Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Ari.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- DeAngelo Williams, RB, Car.
9. Team Henoch- Chris Johnson, RB, Ten.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, SD
11. Trexler Gunners- Andre Johnson, WR, Hou.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Clinton Portis, RB, Wash.

Round 2

1. Unnecessary Flair- Frank Gore, RB, SF
2. Trexler Gunners- Drew Brees, QB, NO
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Tom Brady, QB, NE
4. Team Henoch- Calvin Johnson, WR, Det.
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Randy Moss, WR, NE
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Peyton Manning, QB, Ind.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Steve Slaton, RB, Hou.
8. Forever Annyong- Greg Jennings, WR, GB
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Ronnie Brown, RB, Mia.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Steve Smith, WR, Car.
11. Team Kornafel- Brian Westbrook, RB, Phi.
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Marion Barber, RB, Dal.

Round 3

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Reggie Wayne, WR, Ind.
2. Team Kornafel- Terrell Owens, WR, Buf.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Roddy White, WR, Atl.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Kevin Smith, RB, Det.
5. Forever Annyong- Anquan Boldin, WR, Ari.
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Aaron Rodgers, QB, GB
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Pierre Thomas, RB, NO
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Ryan Grant, RB, GB
9. Team Henoch- Marques Colston, WR, NO
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Wes Welker, WR, NE
11. Trexler Gunners- Thomas Jones, RB, NYJ
12. Unnecessary Flair- T.J. Houshmanzadeh, WR, Sea.

Round 4

1. Unnecessary Flair- Kurt Warner, QB, Ari.
2. Trexler Gunners- Joseph Addai, RB, Ind.
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Derrick Ward, RB, TB
4. Team Henoch- Darren McFadden, RB, Oak.
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Brandon Marshall, WR, Den.
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Larry Johnson, RB, KC
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Antonio Gates, TE, SD
8. Forever Annyong- Ray Rice, RB, Bal.
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Phillip Rivers, QB, SD
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Tony Romo, QB, Dal.
11. Team Kornafel- Matt Ryam, QB, Atl.
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Dwayne Bowe, WR, KC

Round 5

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Marshawn Lynch, RB, Buf.
2. Team Kornafel- Roy Williams, WR, Dal.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Knowshown Moreno, RB, Den.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- DeSean Jackson, WR, Phi.
5. Forever Annyong- Jason Witten, TE, Dal.
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- LenDale White, RB, Ten.
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Chad Johnson, WR, Cin.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Matt Schaub, QB, Hou.
9. Team Henoch- Donovan McNabb, QB, Phi.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Vincent Jackson, WR, SD
11. Trexler Gunners- Tony Gonzalez, TE, Atl.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Braylon Edwards, WR, Cle.

Round 6

1. Unnecessary Flair- Santana Moss, WR, Wash.
2. Trexler Gunners- Bernard Berrian, WR, Minn.
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Lee Evans, WR, Buff.
4. Team Henoch- Dallas Clark, TE, Ind.
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Cedric Benson, RB, Cin.
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Jonathon Stewart, RB, Car.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Eddie Royal, WR, Den.
8. Forever Annyong- Leon Washington, RB, NYJ
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Santonio Holmes, WR, Pit.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Willie Parker, RB, Pit.
11. Team Kornafel- Ahmad Bradshaw, RB, NYG
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Matt Cassell, QB, KC

Round 7

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Owen Daniels, TE, Hou.
2. Team Kornafel- Hines Ward, WR, Pit.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Chris Cooley, TE, Wash.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Zach Miller, TE, Oak.
5. Forever Annyong- Chris Wells, RB, Ari.
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Ind.
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Ted Ginn Jr., WR, Mia.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Darren Sproles, RB, SD
9. Team Henoch- Steelers, D, Pit.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Giants, D, NYG
11. Trexler Gunners- Reggie Bush, RB, NO
12. Unnecessary Flair- Jamal Lewis, RB, Cle.

Round 8

1. Unnecessary Flair- Jerricho Cotchery, WR, NYJ
2. Trexler Gunners- Kevin Walter, WR, Hou.
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Greg Olson, TE, Chi.
4. Team Henoch- Donald Driver, WR, GB
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Carson Palmer, QB, Cin.
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Percy Harvin, WR, Min.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Antonio Bryant, WR, TB
8. Forever Annyong- Jay Cutler, QB, Chi.
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Ravens, D, Balt.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Vikinigs, D, Minn.
11. Team Kornafel- Kellen Winslow, TE, TB
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Matt Hasslebeck, QB, Sea.

Round 9

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Felix Jones, RB, Dal.
2. Team Kornafel- Titans, D, Tenn.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Torry Holt, WR, Jac.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Earnest Graham, RB, TB
5. Forever Annyong- Jets, D, NYJ
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Lance Moore, WR, NO
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Rashad Mendenhall, RB, Pit.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Dustin Keller, TE, NYJ
9. Team Henoch- LeSean McCoy, RB, Phi.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Dominik Hixon, WR, NYG
11. Trexler Gunners- Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Pit.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Jeremy Shockey, TE, NO

Round 10

1. Unnecessary Flair-Lavernaues Coles, WR, Cin.
2. Trexler Gunners- Steve Breaston, WR, Ari.
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Eli Manning, QB, NYG
4. Team Henoch- Le'Ron McClain, RB, Bal.
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Derrick Mason, WR, Bal.
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Ricky Williams, RB, Mia.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Fred Taylor, RB, NE
8. Forever Annyong- Devin Hester, WR, Chi.
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Donnie Avery, WR, StL.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Tim Hightower, RB, Ari.
11.Team Kornafel - Stephen Gostkowski, K, NE
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Donald Brown,

Round 11

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Chris Chambers, WR, Mia.
2. Team Kornafel- Fred Jackson, RB, Buff.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Brett Favre, QB, Minn.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Julius Jones, RB, Sea.
5. Forever Annyong- Kenny Britt, WR, Tenn.
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Redskins,, D, Wash.
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Visanthe Shiancoe, TE, Minn.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Patriots, D, NE
9. Team Henoch- David Akers, K, Phi.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Jerious Norwood, RB, Atl.
11. Trexler Gunners- Eagles, D, Phi.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Willis McGahee, RB, Bal.

Round 12

1. Unnecessary Flair- Nate Kaeding, K, SD
2. Trexler Gunners- Sammy Morris, RB, NE
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Mushin Muhammed, WR, Car.
4. Team Henoch- Michael Crabtree, WR, SF
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Mason Crosby, K, GB
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Saints, D, NO
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Kyle Orton, QB, Den.
8. Forever Annyong- Mark Sanchez, QB, NYJ
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Justin Gage, WR, Chi.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Josh Morgan, WR, SF
11. Team Kornafel- Tony Scheffler, TE, Den.
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Dolphins, D, Mia.

Round 13

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Chris Henry, WR, Cin.
2. Team Kornafel- Brent Celek, TE, Phi.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- Chester Taylor, RB, Minn.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Rob Bironas, K, Tenn.
5. Forever Annyong- Ryan Longwell, K, Minn.
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- David Garrard, QB, Jac.
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Nate Burleson, WR, Minn.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- John Carlson, TE, Sea.
9. Team Henoch- Joe Flacco, QB, Balt.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Jason Elam, K, Atl.
11. Trexler Gunners- Nick Folk, K, Dal.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Chargers, D, SD

Round 14

1. Unnecessary Flair- Kevin Boss, TE, NYG
2. Trexler Gunners- Michael Jenkins, WR, Atl.
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Panthers, D, Car.
4. Team Henoch- Hakeem Nicks, WR, NYG
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Steve Smith, WR, NYG
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Neil Rackers, K, Ari.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Patrick Crayton, WR, Dal.
8. Forever Annyong- Vernon Davis, TE, SF
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Bobby Engram, WR, Sea.
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Kevin Curtis, WR, Phi.
11. Team Kornafel- Trent Edwards, QB, Buff.
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Robby Gould, K, Chi.

Round 15

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Heath Miller, TE, Pit.
2. Team Kornafel- Michael Bush, RB, Oak.
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara- John Kasay, K, Car.
4. Ted Ginn's Year- Jake Delhomme, QB, Car.
5. Forever Annyong- Cadillac Williams, RB, TB
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- Glen Coffee, RB, SF
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Chad Pennington, QB, Mia.
8. Doctor Zoidberg- Laurence Maroney, RB, NE
9. Team Henoch- Bears, D, Chi.
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons- Bo Scaife, TE, Tenn.
11. Trexler Gunners- Anthony Fasano, TE, Mia.
12. Unnecessary Flair- Brady Quinn, QB, Cle.

Round 16

1. Unnecessary Flair- Jason Campbell, QB, Wash.
2. Trexler Gunners- Shonn Greene, RB, NYJ
3. Balts-ville Godmorgons- Sam Swank, K, Cin.
4. Team Henoch- Todd Heap, TE, Bal.
5. Doctor Zoidberg- Jeremy Maclin, WR, Phi.
6. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana- Raiders, D, Oak.
7. Fart Knockin' On Your Door- John Carney, K, NO
8. Forever Annyong- Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Oak.
9. Ted Ginn's Year- Packers, D, GB
10.Will Scarlet O'Hara- Texans, D, Hou.
11. Team Kornafel- JaMarcus Russell, QB, Oak.
12. Home Depot Frank the Tank- Devery Henderson, WR, NO

Draft Day and Time Set

The draft is set for Monday, September 7 (also known as tomorrow) at 9:30 P.M. The order has previously been posted. This day and time seemed to be the least disagreeable time for all owners in the league.

New addition to Zoidberg's Coaching Staff

Team Zoidberg has announced an addition to their coaching staff. The New England Patriots refused to allowed permission for the team to talk to head coach Bill Belichick in hopes of convincing him to join Team Zoidberg in some capacity on its coaching staff. Therefore, TZ has announced that its newest assistance coach will be someone who looks and acts a lot like Belichick: Muttley the Dog. Muttley said nothing at the press conference, but several members of the media reported having items missing as they left, and a few others found the air had been taken out of the tires of their news vans.

Team Zoidberg addresses draft rumors

Head Coach Dr. Zoidberg addresses the rumors swirling his team in a press conference this afternoon. "Yes, we've heard about WSO's intentions to draft Little John in the first round. And no, we're not planning on taking The Sheriff of Nottingham to counteract that move. We have a draft board and we're sticking to it". When asked about what he would do, since the acquisition of LJ could greatly affect the balance of power in the division, Zoidberg said, "No, we're not letting this go unchecked. But our thinking is this: The Sheriff of Nottingham's only measurable skill is stealing. We don't have to use a draft pick to take care of that. We plan on hiring Bill Belichick to our coaching staff".

Forever Buster?

Word is out of the Forever Annyong camp that they intend to draft Buster Bluth with their #5 pick. This annonucement was not a shock in itself, as Buster is high on many teams' draft boards, but the surprise came when FA officials stated they intended to play him at quarterback. "I'm not so sure", said one scout. "I've never seen this come up, but I would think having one hand be a hook might cause some problems mechanically with the throwing motion". The scout was then reminded by the press of the decent, if unspectacular, career of Captain Hook (263-489, 11 TDs, 8 INT in 7 seasons) as a backup quarterback for the Raiders in the early part of this decade.

Rumors out of Will Scarlet O'Hara camp

Word is there is a split within the war room of Will Scarlet O'Hara as to who to draft with their #3 overall pick. Unnamed sources has indicated the owner is adamant about drafting Little John from the Independent League team Robin Hood's Merry Men, while the coach and the GM aren't quite sure about the potential pick. "We know almost nothing about this guy- there's not much footage on him", the team's GM was quoted as saying at an impromptu press conference. When told that LJ's heyday was in the 15th century, long before recorded video, the GM answered "Well, that would explain it now, wouldn't it?" The team's scouts are split. While some are unsure about what position he'll play for WSO, other scouts believe they can find a position for anyone with his skill set (7 feet tall and skilled with a quarterstaff). Sources tell this publication that there is no truth to the rumor that Will Scarlet O'Hara is targeting southern rapper L'il Jon with their second round pick.

Draft Order

The draft order has been established. Here's the list as printed by the commisioner:

1. Home Depot Frank the Tank
2. Team Kornafel
3. Will Scarlet O'Hara
4. Ted Ginn's Year
5. Forever Annyong
6. Fart Knockin' On Your Door
7. OJ McDuffie Parmigiana
8. Doctor Zoidberg
9. Team Henoch
10.Balts-ville Godmorgons
11. Trexler Gunners
12. Unnecessary Flair

The draft date is still TBA.

Dr. Zoidberg Names (and is named) Head Coach

Today the Dr. Zoidberg team announced its choice for the head coach of its football team. In a big surprise, Dr. Zoidberg was named to the position by owner Matthew Hribar. "It's me, Zoidberg, the lovable tramp! It's a fabulous, crabulous honor to be named the coach", said Zoidberg. "Our team intends to use its lobster-like tenacity to scuttle the ball down the field and win at Clawplach... oh wait, what? This is football? Oy Vey!". Zoidberg was then hit on the head with a cane and dragged off the stage to return to his office in a dumpster outside the stadium.

Welcome to the Blog!

As (self-appointed) league reporter, I'd like to welcome everyone to our blog! I think this will be a better forum than the message board. You can expect league news, a draft recap, (hopefully) season previews, weekly updates and previews, and a lot more! I'd also expect our wise and great commisioner to dispense his wit and wisdom from time to time. Good luck to all and let's have a great season!